My Drawing

In my quest to re-gain my drawing talent. Regardless of how good it is. I purchase oil crayons, charcoal, pencils eventual felts and ink markers. Soon to realise, Art, my Art,  is a never-ending journey, as I set out to improve, not matter where I begin, each drawing is an opportunity to express. No matter the subject. As I remember as early as 5 years old, sitting in the prep classroom, as he teacher spoke, I would zone out, or as I like to justify, zone into a new (a different) realm. A realm for me,  more creative, more colorful and more energy than the realm of planet earth that I was living in,  against my will,  stuck in. This boring place. Words, letters, forcing me into a two-dimensional world and out of this three-dimensional world. Why do I have to train to be an adult? As simple as that question is, I came to appreciate how complex life can be. As doodled, Teachers, smacked my hands with rulers and eventually straps, to the loud command “ Pay attention”. Drawing was my escape, from this dimension to the previous, where I felt safe and did not have to feel the pain and disappointment. I gave up drawing. I moved out and shut down this realm. To this day, I rarely admit it, I have dyslexia, mild. Later in life I found out dyslexia, is still seeing the letters in 3D. I built a strategy, as a kids and subvocalized, slowly, as I read slow. It was painful, as I could think quick, see quick and calibrate quick. The foundation later, I see as my foundation in art. Later as an Adult, I discovered “speed” reading. A new world, a new calibration, and a strategy that worked for me. I discovered Mind mapping…what a F’ing relief writing with Pictures. Then discovered vision mapping. By this stage, I had built a sophisticated corporate act, and with my Strategic planning work, unrealized my art connection, at the time, I would create “Vision Maps” – a business corporate strategy- symbolized as pictures, a metaphor, a story. But I did not admit, I was an artist. As much as pictures, color and symbols were powerful for me. I was just a dude, who was planning the game. And all this time my child yearned as my heart contracted. Then, one time, an extremely emotional time, I painted the house, pending the arrival of my third child. I woke one morning, seemingly out of nowhere, I had a thought…what would happen if purchased a canvass and painted. I did! I drew, freely and then grabbed the left-over paints and painted. This was almost 19 years ago now. A fire within ignited. It now grows, every day, with every breath, I must drawing and or paint. So recently I started….Face and Flowers at first

Many, many drawings, most I shared, some I did not. I was starting to feel happy. My Art painting changed. The more I drew, the more abstract my painting became. Then two weeks ago, I discovered style called Zen Tangle. I purchased some felts, at first mainly black, different thickness. After a few drawings, I included grey, brown and package of colored ink ones.

My drawing, started as Black and White. I was encouraged to add color. So, I did and my Zen tangle drawing progress. I was happy I was making progress. My color was being added and most of all, I love the style. Some of my drawings have taken me at least 12 hours. I say “least”, as I stop and must breathe, slowly, connected through my nose, as my heart unfolds, as the contraction around my chest releases, almost in tears, my hand continues to add the detail required. Stopping regularly, hand on my chest and whisper to myself “thankyou”. I feel my child and notice his beaming smile.

He reminds me Art is Light, Art is Love, Art is Eternal, my reminder of the Realm of Reality. And as my heart swells, I forever, continue.